SERGEANT KERORO ☆!!!

Age: NO CLUE. The seiyuu said she voiced him as if he were around 45, but I CAN'T SEE HIM BEING THAT OLD (Giroro or Dororo either for that matter) so really I think this is just one of those things where there is no Earth equivalent.
DOB: December 9th!
Height: He appears to be around Viper's height. Let's say 16 inches. If there's canon I don't know it.
Medical Info: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Eyes: black
Hair: black, styled in an afro. No, I am not kidding.
Physical traits: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

What's Okay To Mention Around Him/Her: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Abilities: Uh. Keroro cannot really do anything. At the same time, he can do just about anything. Especially if Kululu is around to build things for him. So . . . nothing . . . except he can sometimes do TEAM ATTACKS with the platoon . . . and he can order Kululu to like, make a device to do anything they can think of . . . and he has the Kero Ball (or Fuyuki has it, I think?) so he can make anything. Like iMacs and lush living quarters and SUPER SECRET BASES. Basically he is as godmode or fail as is necessary for it to be funny. He can also build models. Or . . . make people be gay for him against all odds. I don't even know.

Notes for the Psychics: GUNPLA GUNPLA GUNDAM CHAR INVASION KARAOKE NAPTIEM WHAT'S FOR DINNER WHERE'S FUYUKI GUNPLA TOYS INTERNET ANIME I'M SLEEPY LOVE ME LET'S INVADING PEKOPON

Can I shapeshift/bodyswap/spit at/step on/etc?: yes x 9000

Hugging/Kissing/Other non-violent physical contact: DO IT YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

Maim/Murder/Death: YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO ASK. He'll be back in the next comment.

Cooking: NOT A GOOD IDEA.

Character: Sergeant Keroro
Series: Keroro Gunsou
Age: Unknown, but definitely adult.
Job Title: Dictator and Amphibian Overlord, Crushing the Will of Pekopon in His Vice-like Grip Maid

Canon: Oh boy, Keroro, what are we going to do tonight? The same thing we do every night, kids: try to take over Pekopon!

If by "every night" you mean "every night that Keroro wouldn't rather build Gundam models, read manga, surf the Internet, watch television, take a nap, build more Gundam models, run away from home when he doesn't get his way, whine, flee the wrath of his more competent platoon members, or just enjoy a nice stroll." That's right: the frog aliens have landed. The truth is out there. And the truth is that their leader is a lazy, unmotivated, sentimental, childish, absolutely shameless buffoon who makes grandiose speeches (peppered with incongruous slang) in an attempt to placate anyone who tries to make him do his job. You see, Sergeant Keroro really desires nothing more than for the world to revolve around his whims without him having to go to all that "invasion" trouble.

It's not that he doesn't have his moments of competence. When motivated, Keroro can be quite creative and intelligent in his endeavors. But why invade Pekopon (Earth, o ye uninitiated) when there's cool stuff to do here? And there's one other little problem: Keroro's name is Bitch, and the Hinata family owns him. Having been abandoned by his planet's military on Pekopon, Keroro is under house arrest in the Hinata household and earns his keep by doing the laundry and cleaning, for which he has almost supernatural talent. Don't be mistaken! He's still going to invade the planet someday. In the meantime, Keroro just wants to enjoy Pekopon as he embarks on his journey of love, friendship, breaking the fourth wall, henpecking wayward children, and failing at life.

Notes: Permission has been given by Giroro to mention the character in the app. "Gero" is Keroro's multi-purpose vocal tic. And although Keroro is being apped primarily from the manga, the anime term for Earth, "Pekopon," is being used to cut down on Humorous Racist Undertones.

Sample Post:

Maid? Maid?? Admiral Elizabeth Sayre, you insult me! Though I have been a prisoner of war for many months, forced to perform menial tasks for the enemy, I am no maid, and you're a fool to underestimate me! You dare lure me into this trap with the promise of Bandai's 1/1700 EX Archangel, "MIB no reserve LAST ONE!!! LOW SHIPPING!!!"? The joke is on you, Miss 100% Positive Feedback. Your festering swampland with its ungodly humidity is nothing less than Paradise for a native of Keron! The fetid air smells of my bygone halcyon days of frolicking through the pond with my tadpole brethren, one timeless summer before basic training forced a generation to grow up too soon. The slickslickslick of the mud, so reminiscent of childhood holidays, a happy family whose heart beats as one as they gather around Granny's Famous Roasted Cosmic Calamari and dig in to togetherness! In other words, sistah, this is one phat crib.

What this Garden of Eden needs is a green thumb, and I just happen to have one on the end of this iron fist. So prepare yourselves for the Year of the Frog, citizens! Gerogerogero . . . after all, haven't you already sold your souls to a totalitarian regime? For $7 every two months, I too will provide you with 100 tiny pictures of yourself in assorted poses, emotional states, genders, and ages! If I had known it was so easy to make willing slaves of Pekoponians, I would have busted out the Crayola months ago! Is that really all it takes to bring you to your knees before your laptops? Today's youth . . . I worry about you, you know? Isn't it about time you spent those $7 on a nice book or a gift for your mother? When's the last time you sat down with her and really told her what was going on in your life? Hey, you--yes, you! Turn off the computer, I said! Go sit down with your family and experience some real communication! Eat dinner together! And unhand me, undead fiend, for these frog's legs are definitely not on the menu--!!

G-gero. It seems "Operation: Reveal All My Plans to the Enemy Aloud in Hopes That They'll Take Pity on Me for Such a Ludicrous Act and Accept Me into Their Camp" is not having the desired effect on the target audience. I'm going to have to skip Stage Two: "Bum Around in a Cabin and Surf eBay Until Giroro Bitches and Moans, Boo Hoo, Cry Moar." So it's on to Plan B, is it? I had hoped to turn over a new leaf, but it looks like I'm going to be turning on a spit over an open flame if I don't make a few temporary concessions. A soldier does not fall into the jaws of the enemy, however appetizing their garlic butter marinade! Are those carrots? Very nice. F-father, I've made you proud, haven't I?

Well, there's no shame in living to see another day. You there, Private Privates! That's an unfortunate name for a gorilla, son, but I can see you're every inch a soldier, not to mention that this week's chapter will probably never see publication. At ease, Private! For the sake of the mission, by which I mean me, it's time to commence "Operation: Bring Sergeant Keroro Some Name-Brand Glass Cleaner." Honestly, how have you people let this place get into such a state? Why, your Mess Hall is so filthy it's a Filth Hall! So scummy it's a Scum Hall! So messy it's a Me--I think my point has been made. You've been using powdered detergent on the windows, haven't you? It's important to take the delicacy of a surface into account when you're working on grime. Here's a tip: t-shirts you've worn out can be cut into rags and used to give this a nice soft polish. Isn't that easy? Aren't I helpful? No, no, no need to thank me. It's my job, after all!

So what's my salary again? $7 every two months? I'll take it!


(( HOLY FUCK, VOTING ))